Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My Zen

I have resisted knitting for a very long time. My grandma frist taught me to knit when I was very young 6 or 7 I think - I can still remember her helping me, and the way the yarn never did what I wanted it to do. I learned to crochet when I was 19 from my mother and grasped that concept easily, I am deslexic and could never understand most patterns - I just couldn't see the way things were suppost to go in my head. So I did all my crochet with no pattern, once I understood stitches, I just did them - all my own patterns and none ever written down - mom still has a fit over the hats I did that could never be repeated since I didn't even pay attention to what I was doing as i made them. I loved cross stitch with the colors and the set design I could see at a glance. But knitting with it's 2 sticks and yarn that went in odd ways frustrated, and aggrivated me. I didn't understand it, the patterns left me oddly unhappy, and the yarn never looked right. I also have the attention span of - oh how did miss violet put it - a gnat on crack I think is what she said. I always have at least 5 projects going in each craft (knitting, cross stitch, crochet, and others) Large projects while they catch my eye are not for me - a sweater - forget about it - no way I will ever finish it.

But lately I have finally found the zen I get at other crafts, the peace I have when I crochet, or cross stitch. The blank, peaceful space where my mind is clear and the world fades away. My mother has never understood how I could read a book, and watch a movie, while waiting for an email and pay attention to all 3 and never loose any part of two story lines and reply to the email, but my mind never seems to stop going in a hundres directions - except when I get in my zen space.
I can do it with a book if I concentrate, but it has always come easily and quickly in my crochet and cross stitch. Now the knitting is bringing it. Even if I only have 10 minutes I can sit and knit and my mind floats, at peace, easy, relaxed. The stress decreases, the problems pull away and things are easier for that 10 minutes. It makes me want to teach more people to find their zen. Find the calm in yourself where you understand and really like yourself. The place where it doesn't matter what else is going on in your life you are okay.

Everyone needs that calm blank space.

1 comment:

op said...

Lovely, my dear!